Cyber Monday: OK, Fine

Monday, November 30, 2015
By dreeves

Hunny pot cum money pot

Of the roughly 6,000 active Beeminder users, we’re approaching 1,000 who like us so much that they’ve opted in to more frequent beemails. If you love us so much that you want to hear from us daily then we try to reciprocate. Sometimes we tip those folks off to bounties to be claimed when we founders derail on our own goals. We also give them sneak peeks of buggy new features. Exciting! Today we offered a half-off discount on premium plans. It’s too late to get in on that without a copy of that beemail but (wait!) we have something a fraction as good for you plebians…

You think you’re too cool for “Cyber Monday”?

Yes. So much so that I can’t type it without derisive scare quotes. I personally am pretty allergic to “SAVE NOW!!”-style sales and coupons and whatnot. If you’re a business and you seem very excited about saving me money then I pretty much already despise you. (I express my contempt by waiting for you to calm down and then paying you more money. [1])

Ok, but for more reasonable consumers without my hang-ups, the whole Cyber Monday concept does make perfect sense. I have a fancy degree in a field sort of related to economics so let me explain! Limited-time promotions make money. Ok, duh, but why does every business on the internet feel compelled to jump on the Cyber Monday bandwagon in particular? Well, limited-time promotions work better if you have an excuse for them. Otherwise you lose credibility that they’re really limited. Consumers are savvy enough to know that you may be faking the urgency to get them off their butts and taking action (giving you money). If the promotion is tied to a rare (e.g., annual) real-world event then it’s more believable that it’s going to actually end shortly and you’ll have to wait a year before it happens again.

Add to that the fact that your users are primed for SAVING MONEY TODAY. As long as they’re not like me, which most aren’t, they’re at least no less receptive than usual. So you, as the business owner, might as well jump on the bandwagon since it’s probably high time you did another promotion anyway. Because, as I mentioned, promotions make money.

That was just riveting. Do you have a discount or something to offer?

Once again the answer is yes! For your clicking pleasure:

N MONTHS FREE WHEN YOU ADD A BEEMINDER PREMIUM PLAN TODAY!

UPDATE: We updated the link for 2016.

Are we going to tell you what N is? This time the answer is no. You’re going to do that yourself with our exquisitely fair discount slider. Namely, however many months you choose to prepay for, you also get that many months free. [2] Not the first N months though; then you could get years of premium for nothing and hope that you (or we) die before you ever have to actually pay anything. So you pay for N months and then the next N months are free.

Ok, that’s it. I held my nose and came up with a Cyber Monday deal. Go SAVE MONEY NOW by giving us slightly less of it than you’ll have to if you want a premium plan next week.


 

Thanks to Philip Hellyer for devising the deal, holding my hand, and toning down my snark.


 

Footnotes

[1] I similarly can’t stand things like pledge drives on public radio. No matter how compelling the underlying message I can’t bear to reward begging like that so I make a mental note to donate later. Then of course I forget. I hope I haven’t given the impression that my behavior regarding money is remotely rational.

[2] But wait, there’s more!! I’m so excited about how much money we’re saving you that I’m going to hyperventilate. Not only do you get N months free when you prepay for N months of a premium plan, but the more you buy, the cheaper it gets! I.e., our exquisitely fair discount slider wouldn’t be fair if we removed the discounting just because it’s a cyber week, so you still get that too.

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